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Olympia church marks Break the Silence Sunday

On Sunday, April 28, the United Churches of Olympia held their fourth Break the Silence Sunday service. 

Designed as a healing service in support of survivors of sexual abuse and assault, the service was created and planed by a small group of members, including Jennifer Carmer-Hall, Marcia McLaughlin and Elaine Lyford-Nojima, with April Kuhn, music director, and Andy CastroLang, supply pastor.

Worshipers break the silence by writing messages on stones. Photo courtesy of Jennifer Cramer-Hall

Jennifer, who moved to the Olympia area five years ago, led the effort to plan the service.

She was inspired to organize a service after meeting Moira Finley, a UCC pastor in Northeast Wisconsin who is the creator, champion and founder of the Break the Silence Sunday initiative. 

Jennifer attended the first Break the Silence Sunday service in 2017 in Moira’s church.

Break the Silence Sunday was officially adopted by the UCC General Synod in 2019 in a resolution designating the fourth Sunday of April annually to “supporting survivors of rape and sexual violence through an ongoing, church-wide observance.”

The planning group began meeting in February to plan a unique service to offer healing and support for survivors and those who know survivors.

Marcia, a retired UCC clergy, crafted the liturgy. Elaine, also a retired UCC clergy, preached a short sermon on “A Different Take on the Woman at The Well.”

The service was designed to be experiential with five healing “stations.”

One was a silent candle-lighting experience. Worshipers were invited to light a candle and give a silent prayer for healing. Another was a hand-washing station where people were cleansed of guilt inflicted by abuse and assault. A third station blessed parishioners with healing oil.

Two other stations allowed people to express themselves in unique ways. Messages of hope and healing were written on stones based on the Scripture “even the stones cry out.” The fifth station provided pieces of paper on which people could write prayers that were inserted into a “wailing wall.”

During this portion of the service, meditative music was played as people transitioned from one station to another.

“Many people found the service intensely comforting and healing,” said Jennifer. “They shared their powerful, profound experiences with the planning team.”

For Jennifer, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, the service was a culmination of years of advocating for such a service. In most churches she had previously attended, she felt the subject of sexual violence and abuse was taboo and ignored.

“That makes it hard for survivors to heal,” she said. “It’s important for congregations to be good listeners, which means to assist and allow survivors to acknowledge their experience so they can find healing. Break the Silence Sunday is a step in that direction.”

Jennifer outlined what’s needed to promote healing for survivors.

“Keeping a secret is hard and causes many problems. When we keep our abuse a secret, we ruminate about the secret in our head. When we share the truth with even just one other person, it breaks the cycle of ruminating, which opens an opportunity to heal,” she said.

“Breaking the silence in a church setting makes the church a center for receiving healing and comfort,” she added. “Especially for those whose families and friends did not believe or support them, telling our stories in a supportive environment makes us stronger.”

According to Jennifer, the two most important things to say to someone who shares their story are “It was not your fault,” and “You are not alone.”

“I have reached a level of healing now that I have a happy life and the abuse I endured does not interfere with my daily life or happiness now,” she said.

“When we see people, really see them, and allow them to share their personal stories of abuse in a safe and supportive environment, we, too, offer living water,” Elaine said. “We seek to be living water to survivors by hearing their stories.”

Break the Silence Sunday encourages all settings of the United Church of Christ to educate clergy and laity on how to support survivors of rape and sexual violence, including trauma-informed care, and to advocate on behalf of those not yet ready to speak openly so that the voices of survivors do not speak alone.

The resolution calls national and local leaders to speak out in support of survivors of rape and sexual violence, offer care to individuals, including silent supportive witness in courtrooms, and advocate for sexual violence prevention education.

It calls the national UCC to add an annual observance of Break the Silence Sunday (BTSS) to its calendar, with the suggested date of the fourth Sunday in April during national sexual assault awareness month.

Local churches are urged to participate in the annual observance on the suggested Sunday or any date, honoring in worship, education and community contexts the stories and struggles of survivors of rape and sexual violence, and encouraging observance in the ecumenical community.

The resolution also encourages all setting of the church to treat survivors of sexual violence and their stories with care, allowing time for education, self-care and gathering resources.

“United Churches of Olympia intends to continue holding Break the Silence Sunday worship services,” said Jennifer.

For information, email jcarmerhall@gmail.com or visit ucc.org/worship-way/break-the-silence-sunday-resources.

 

 

 

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